Sunday, February 28, 2010

Update on goals and other life stuff

First goal: Run a comfortable 3 miles.  After feeling like I was not improvig at all, I met a local runner on and she suggested I increase my overall workout time and continue with walking breaks as needed.  I started by increasing my running time to 40 minutes, and walking as needed.  Then the need for walk breaks decreased. The this past Wednesday, I was doing my usual 40 and after about a mile and a half I realized I felt good.  I finished 3.2 miles in 40 minutes with no walking.  Woo!

Second goal: Lean to play the guitar.  Specifically the song "Small" by JJ Heller. I'd like to play this at the camp I counsel at in June. Obviously, this goal will be on-going, but slowly I'm improving. I don't need to look at where my fingers are as much. But singing and struming a rhythm is proving to be a challenge.

Third goal: Lean to crochet. I haven't had the time to dedicate to this as much as the others. Or should I say choose to.  I can do it, I just hanven't makde anything yet. But I will. ;)

Lauren's Kindergarten registeration is coming up this week. I'm having a hard time bending my brain around that one. How is this possible, that I have a soon to be Kindergardner?  I have so many mixed emotions about this. I'm happy and excited for her. Happy that she is a healthy, growing child. Sad that my baby is growing up. Scared to send her into the "world". *sigh* this mom stuff is hard.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

My Mother's Hand

I found this the other day. I wrote it about 6 months after my mother's death. I feel I'm able to share it now.

My Mother's Hand

I got my Mom's wedding ring sized to fit my ring finger. My mom always put a lot of sentimental value on things. She never took this ring off. During surgeries, she would give me the ring at the last possible moment, and make me swear that I would not lose it. I remember when she had her heart surgery. She was recovering in ICU, sedated and on a ventilatior. She continually pointed to her ring finger, trying to speak. She wanted that ring back!

I realized when she gave me her ring this last time, that I would not be givng it back. It was about 2 months before her death. She had gotten so thin, that it was falling off. I knew then, that she knew she was going to die.

When my eyes catch the sparkle of her ring, I no longer see my hand. I see her's. I see the hand that took care of me when I was sick. The hand that made more meals than I can count. A hand that worked hard. A hand that was folded in prayer for our family.

I may not be as attached to this ring as she was. But I'll look at this ring and know that I was loved.