Snow, rain, ice, snow...repeat

I really try not to complain about the weather. It is what it is. But I'm really sick of it now. At least I don't have to be anywhere today. So I can stay home with my girl. Of course being at home all day with a 3 year old has it's challenges. For example, we just had a knock-down-drag-out over her sass mouth. I really need to keep some wine in the house.

I've been feeling down the past few days. Really missing my mom. But feeling guilty about it at the same time. Like it's totally selfish of me to wish her here, when she is completely healed and rejoicing in heaven. I feel like I go one step forward, two steps back with this whole grieving process. I've definitely progressed, but no where near acceptance. This whole process is hard for a control-freak like myself. I wonder if they have a "Grieving for Dummies" book. That would rock. I hope I'm not coming across insensitive for disrespectful. Sometimes a matter-of-fact mood helps me deal.

I'm wondering if I'll being able to run today. I don't want to lose the momentum from last week. Fortunately, this early in training I'll be able to make it up.

Well, I'm off to prepare a groumet lunch of chicken nuggets and green beans for my lovely daughter.

Carry on.

Confession

I spilled a good bit of sugar on the kitchen floor yesterday, and let my dog "clean" it up.

Ahhh, confession is good for the soul.

Why I run

I realized today, I run mostly for my sanity. To release the pent up anxiety I may or may not create for myself.

I feel awesome about myself after a run. I have that "I'm a tough-chick, don't mess with me" attitude.

I want to be a role model for my daughter. Not only that exercise is an awesome habit to have, but sometimes it's a necessity. And when she has a family of her own, I want her to believe that she is worth the effort it takes to get out there. That she'll be a better wife and mother, if she takes the time to take care of herself. Women have a habit of taking care of everybody but themselves. It's not a flaw. It's just that we forget that it's vital to our existence to take some time to care for ourselves. After my mom had passed away, a very good friend of mine invited me to stay at her house for the weekend. She said, "sometimes only a woman can take care of another women the way she needs". Amen, sister.

Ok, back to running.......

I went for a run today in the snow. It was only a mile long, but it was wonderful. Quiet, pretty, solitude. It was like a hot cup of tea for my soul.

Carry on.