Race for Grace

Lauren and I did our annual "race" today at the Race for Grace 5k and 1 mile Fun Walk. (http://www.reflectionsofgrace.org/) We did the 1 mile, and Lauren was so excited to "race". She's told me twice today that she had fun.  I love sharing my love of running with her.

Loooookey what I got!!

My very own guitar. An acustic/electric Ibanez AES Series Mini-Jumbo Body.  My hubby totally spoils me. :)

Update on goals and other life stuff

First goal: Run a comfortable 3 miles.  After feeling like I was not improvig at all, I met a local runner on http://www.dailymile.com/ and she suggested I increase my overall workout time and continue with walking breaks as needed.  I started by increasing my running time to 40 minutes, and walking as needed.  Then the need for walk breaks decreased. The this past Wednesday, I was doing my usual 40 and after about a mile and a half I realized I felt good.  I finished 3.2 miles in 40 minutes with no walking.  Woo!

Second goal: Lean to play the guitar.  Specifically the song "Small" by JJ Heller. I'd like to play this at the camp I counsel at in June. Obviously, this goal will be on-going, but slowly I'm improving. I don't need to look at where my fingers are as much. But singing and struming a rhythm is proving to be a challenge.

Third goal: Lean to crochet. I haven't had the time to dedicate to this as much as the others. Or should I say choose to.  I can do it, I just hanven't makde anything yet. But I will. ;)

Lauren's Kindergarten registeration is coming up this week. I'm having a hard time bending my brain around that one. How is this possible, that I have a soon to be Kindergardner?  I have so many mixed emotions about this. I'm happy and excited for her. Happy that she is a healthy, growing child. Sad that my baby is growing up. Scared to send her into the "world". *sigh* this mom stuff is hard.

My Mother's Hand

I found this the other day. I wrote it about 6 months after my mother's death. I feel I'm able to share it now.


My Mother's Hand

I got my Mom's wedding ring sized to fit my ring finger. My mom always put a lot of sentimental value on things. She never took this ring off. During surgeries, she would give me the ring at the last possible moment, and make me swear that I would not lose it. I remember when she had her heart surgery. She was recovering in ICU, sedated and on a ventilatior. She continually pointed to her ring finger, trying to speak. She wanted that ring back!

I realized when she gave me her ring this last time, that I would not be givng it back. It was about 2 months before her death. She had gotten so thin, that it was falling off. I knew then, that she knew she was going to die.

When my eyes catch the sparkle of her ring, I no longer see my hand. I see her's. I see the hand that took care of me when I was sick. The hand that made more meals than I can count. A hand that worked hard. A hand that was folded in prayer for our family.

I may not be as attached to this ring as she was. But I'll look at this ring and know that I was loved.

Keepin' The Date Up

I'm pretty pleased with my progress on my "goals". I've learned how to crochet the Chain Stitch, to make Single Crochet Stitches in the Chain. Which, I might add, was a huge pain to learn, and took me three days to get it. My hubby's grandma tried to show me how several years ago (key word being "tried"), and as I struggled with this stitch, some of what she showed me started to come back. Once I remembered this, it all came together. Then I leaned the Turning Chain, Single Crochet row 2, the Slip Stitch and finally finishing off my work. Now I have a piece of fabric about 10 1/2 inches long and 1 inch wide. I love it, and I think I'm going to use it as a bookmark in my crochet book. Which is called "The Happy Hooker" LOL! I've decided to continue practicing what I've learned before I move on. If anyone wants a crochet bookmark let me know. ;)

Running has been going well. I've increased the time I run by a minute this week. This slow buildup is agonizing, but necessary if I want to do a Half Marathon, or run any distance for that matter. Even if I don't run in an official race, just getting my mileage up to double digits would be awesome. When I trained for my last HM, gosh that has to have been almost 7 years ago, my training went so well, and I had a blast. I'd love to feel that way again. I joined the social networking/training log site "dailymile". I'm really enjoying reading other runner's thoughts on their workouts and giving them virtual high-fives.

Lastly, I've picked up the guitar this week. And right now, all I can say is "OUCH!" My fingers are currently tingling. Hubby says I'm dong well. Like he can say anything different. ;)

I must say, I'm pleased with myself. As I said in my previous post, I tend not to finish things. But so far, I haven't given up (even with that stupid crochet stitch). I also feel I'm being a good example to my daughter. When she says she can't do something, we always tell her to try. And when she does and still can't do it, we tell her it takes practice. I hope I'm teaching her something that I didn't learn until now. I hope it will serve her well.

Carry On.

I hate the term "resolutions". It makes me think of starting something only to quit it. Which is what I tend to do. Maybe that's why I dislike the term because it makes me face a part of me that I do not like. Ooooo, that was a deeper thought than I intended it to be. Anyway, all that to say I have 3 "goals" for 2010. They are (drum roll)....1. teach myself how to crochet, 2. learn to play the guitar (with the help of my awesome hubby) and 3. to run 3 miles comfortably. A sidebar goal is to run the half of the Pittsburgh Marathon. I don't really like to run races, as I'm not too fast and run at "the back of the pack". Sometimes even further back than that! ;) But the Pittsburgh Marathon has so much energy, and every year that I go to cheer my fellow runners on it motivates and inspires me.

I was thinking today, that I am so happy to be starting this year in a better place emotionally and spiritually than I started 2009. Jesus heals and I think that's pretty cool.

Carry on.

I'm still here...

Wow. Has it really been since February since I've posted? How neglectful I've been. So sorry. :)

Lauren and I "ran" in our first race together in March. It was a 1 mile fun walk, but she ran most of the way. I'm so happy to share my love of running with her. Geeze, I'm happy to share anything with her. :)

I photographed my first wedding in April. It was for a dear friend of mine. I was so honored to have the privilege. Everything turned out well and a good time was had by all.

In May I turned 35. How did I let this happen?!?! I was surprised how much I missed my mom on MY birthday. She would always send me several cards in the mail (even though she lived only 3 miles from me), and she would make me a special BD dinner and a cake. Also that month I started going to a Grief Share group at a local church. I was still feeling the deep emotional pain of losing my mom. At times it really did feel like I had a gaping hole in my chest. I was also very angry. I knew I needed to work through the pain, the anger and the guilt. I learned that grief is a process you have to go through. You have to live it, experience it. Let it be part of your life. I hated that. I wanted to get through as fast as I could. I didn't sign up for this, I thought to myself. In addition to the reassurance that a lot of my feelings were normal, the group was based on having a relationship with Christ. To allow Him to heal me. To allow Him to change me into the person I'm meant to be. I can now be happy that my mom is no longer suffering....that she is at peace in Heaven.

In June we had a flash flood in the area. We had 2 feet of water in our basement. And our well got contaminated with e-coli. Needless to say I was freaking out. Our loss in the flood was minimal compared to others. We were able to clean out well with good old bleach (go figure). And thank God none of us got sick. My wonderful husband felt it in our best interest to tap into the public water system. It took about a month for it all to be completed, but I gotta say I LOVE MY CITY WATER!!! :)

In July our baby girl turned 4. We had a nice little family gathering at Grandma & PapPap's. I'm so blessed to have wonderful in-laws who adore Lauren.

Lauren started Preschool in September. She loves it. I was a little sad the first week. I missed my Peanut, but I've adjusted quickly and now I love it too. ;)

Well, I guess that brings us to now. I'm enjoying the fall. Trying to appreciate each day as it is.

Carry on.